Awake, Awake O Sleeper...

One of my prayers as I entered my "Seven" journey was that God would startle me awake with a little cold water.

I wanted Him to wake me up again to the reality of my own life and the reality of life around the world again.

I wanted (and still want) change.

I wanted (and still want) His Heart and perspective.

As a result I also decided to go through the "Experiencing God" Bible Study this summer.

Well, my prayers are being answered.

The cold water is being splashed and I am realizing how slow I am to respond (geez...I was being way more lulled to sleep by the American lifestyle than I had realized!).

But by the mercy and grace of God, I am finally learning to respond!

I am so grateful that He has not given up on me and that He is willing to douse me with a bit of cold water.

So, one of the recent soakings (there have been several!!!) involved a new awareness of child labor.
 

(stay with me).
 

Two weeks ago I felt a "nudge" that I should sponsor a child.

I thought about it momentarily and then moved on.

A few days later I was reading about someone who had sponsored a child and the nudge came again, a bit stronger.

I wondered if maybe it was God but, thinking of other "more useful" things, I shrugged it off.

At the end of last week the thought reared it's head again and I thought, "Ok, I'll consider it," but it wasn't really "burning on my heart."
 

Arrive at the day before yesterday.
 

I have been reading a book that talked a bit about child labor and gave a link to the U.S. Department of Labor list of products produced around the world by child labor.

Several thoughts/emotions went through me.

One was sadness.

Another was wondering how these families could afford to feed themselves if no one was working. (Not that I agree with it or am happy about it but I have seen so many, many kids overseas who have to work in some capacity to feed their families).

I was grieved.

And torn.

And decided to make a strong effort to not buy products that might have been produced through child labor.

And decided to buy fair trade as much as possible.

And I patted myself on the back.

And these truly are good decisions!!!

But God was thinking more broadly than I.

So, arrive at yesterday.

In the course of a conversation the U.S. Dept of Labor link came up.

A friend asked me to email it to her.

When I got home, I did.

Which stirred my thinking again.

I sat there looking at the pictures of those kids and (FINALLY!) prayed and said, "God, these kids need money.  They have to work in these horrible conditions to help feed their families.  What can be done to help so that this doesn't happen?"

And God screamed into my spirit (since I don't take nudging hints), "YOU SPONSOR A CHILD!"

Oh. Duh.

So, I read through that U.S. Dept of Labor list, looked to find a South American country with lots of issues with child labor and child porn, picked Colombia, went to Compassion International's site and picked a Colombian child who was in an area that put him at high risk for exploitation (Compassion gives you the option to choose such kids) and started sponsoring him on the spot.

His name is Elias.

Which is Elijah in English.

He is pictured above.

Why do I share this story?

No, it's not so you can pat me on the back and think I'm awesome.

If you can read you can see that I am not awesome and I am not the hero of this story.

Jesus is.

All I did was put my cold heart in front of the fire of His love and let Him throw cold water in my face.

I am writing this because God nudges. God speaks. God leads. God communicates.
What is He trying to tell you this week?
It may not be to sponsor a child but it will be something.
He does want to do things that matter through you.
Listen to His nudges and follow His leading.  :)

It's an awesome, stretching, adventure!

U.S. Dept of Labor Child Labor List:  http://www.dol.gov/ilab/reports/pdf/TVPRA_Report2014.pdf

@%*# Apples and Toast: "Seven" Frustrations

I woke up this morning feeling like I'd rather poke my eyeballs out with sharp objects than have to eat a piece of toast and an apple, and nothing else, for breakfast AGAIN.

Come on, Leigh, people are starving to death all over the world and you're whiny about toast and apples.

Yeah. I am.
(sigh)


Yep.  Week 3.
When the realities of the heart start to surface and I see how selfish I really am.
Which was part of the point.
But I hate it.
I hate that my life is so self-centered.
Which is why I am placing myself in this position and asking the Holy Spirit to continue "crucifying my flesh with its passions." (see Gal 5:24)

The issue isn't that bacon, eggs, grits, apple-bran muffins and coffee are inherently evil and somehow life would be better for all if I sat around eating nothing but wheat berries in a cave for the rest of my life.

But the issue is that I am self-centered in many areas.  And I want to be God-centered.

So, I am taking away things that are good but unnecessary to reveal my heart, let the Holy Spirit change me and also to make more room for God in my life.

This morning the flesh is rearing it's ugly head.
It screams "Cracker Barrel" because that's what it wants.
It's getting toast and an apple because that's what it needs.
And more than that, it needs more of God.

Happy Saturday!!  :-/

Simplicity and Priorities

I am a believer in simplicity.

And I believe that we should care for the poor.
My Bible tells me that.

As I begin my "Seven" fast and my "Experiencing God" study I find myself asking who exactly are the "poor?"

An easy and seemingly obvious answer is "people in the streets of Culcutta."
Yet, did you know that upon visiting the West Mother Teresa noted that Westerners were also poor in that they "had no one to love them."
As a result she started chapters of the Missionaries of Charity in the West. 
There are regional houses in places like the Bronx, and St Louis, MO.

"Seven" is showing me that I need to live more simply.
I need to be less self-indulgent.
Life is just not all about me.  Or all about you for that matter.
It is about serving others.
The poor, the marginalized, the unloved, the worried, the lost, the dying.

"Experiencing God"  is showing me that I need to look for where God is working around me and join Him there.
What are His plans and dreams?
I may dream of being in a Calcutta slum.
He may be dreaming that I will start a weekly tea for the elderly ladies in my townhome complex.

So, I decided to spit out a few thoughts that I've been mulling lately.

Firstly, what should my priorities be?

I have been watching an amazing friend care for her aging mother recently.

Several times I have thought of I Tim 5: 8, which is in the context of caring for widows/elderly parents/grandparents. It states, "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Well that's intense.
I guess caring for my aging parents/family is a priority!
(see also Mark 7:9ff)

Then I thought about how Paul said in his letter to the Galatian church, "...as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those of the household of faith." (Gal 6:10)

Interesting.
When we have "opportunity" (available resources as in Cor 8:14?..."at this present time your abundance being a supply for their need, so that their abundance also may become a supply for your needs") we are to especially care for those of the household of faith.

It would seem that my priorities should be family, Christian family, others.

So, lest we begin to think that this lets us off the hook for serving the poor, it doesn't.
It doesn't seem to be a case of either/or as much as a case of priority and, I believe, simplicity.

Your aged parents don't need a Mercedes or filet mignon.
Their needs should be met, yes, but extravagance isn't necessary for anyone.

Your Christian family ("those of the household of faith") don't need Cadillacs and swimming pools in their backyards.
Their needs should be met, yes, but again, extravagance isn't necessary for anyone.

The poor, our neighbors, those who don't know Jesus, are also important.
We are told that as we go about our lives that we are to bear witness to the One to whom we belong.
We are to be the Good Samaritan.
We are to feed the hungry, visit those in prison, give shelter to those who have none, etc.
Yes, we are.

But not at the expense of our aging parents or of the household of faith. 

This calls for wisdom and a simplicity of living, I think.

If I am living a simple lifestyle, a non-extravagant lifestyle, then I should have more than enough (especially as a middle-class American!) available to care for my parents when they need food and a home, to help care for my Christian family, and to also serve others.

Maybe this is the reason for simplicty?
Not because it's cool or interesting but because it frees me to live the life I am called to live in Jesus.

Secondly, how much is too much and how little is too little?

Thirdly, who are the "others" that I am called to serve?

I'll save that for my next blogs.

A "Seven" Fast. Why?

As my "Seven" fast begins I find myself continuing to explore the question, "why?"
Why am I doing this?
What is it I am hoping to gain from it?
Why did God place this in front of me?
What is He thinking?


Missions was my life's dream.
I wanted nothing more, from the time I was in high school, than to go into Latin America somewhere and serve the poor.
I had originally thought I wanted to go into a tribe but over time the needs to children took precedence in my heart.
Especially street children.

After Larry and I ended up back in the States due to my undiagnosed (at the time) health issues I slowly and deliberately started shutting my heart down.

For the first while I just couldn't deal with some of the things I had seen and experienced.
Abused children. Indescribably abused.
Street children being herded up so they could be taken out into the countryside and shot. (want to feel helpless and ill?  Go watch that knowing there's nothing you can do about it).
Children who were hungry all the time.
Children who were dying for lack of medical care.
Children with no homes.
On and on and on.

Then, over time, I felt the ache of longing to go back overseas and help kids.
But my health prevented me.  Along with other factors.
So, again, I went into a deliberate shut down and refused to feel the renewed desire.
That ache of longing to be involved.
To help. To serve.


So, why am I doing this "Seven" fast until next March?
Because I want my heart back.

I know what it feels like to be hungry.
I lived on a dollar a day in South America.
Not because I wanted to but because that was all I had.
It's interesting to have to find food and shelter on a dollar a day.

I know what it feels like to have few clothes.
I had only a handful at times when I was overseas.
It didn't make any sense to have more.

I lived and felt several odd things that the "poor" experience.
I've been deported.
I've been on guerrilla hit lists.
I've had intestinal worms from unclean water.
I've slept on cement slabs when I had no bed.
I've bather in rivers, out of buckets and in ice cold showers in cold weather.
Heck, I even have an arranged marriage.

Don't get me wrong.
I am so very grateful to have had these experiences because there is so much that the poor go through that I can now relate to on a minor level.
I prayed that God would allow me to know some of this so that I would begin to understand.
He has granted me that.

What worries me is that I have lost my heart.

I got tired of being poor.
I got tired of being lonely. (not too many people want to live that way...I get why)
I got tired of wondering where my next meal would come from.

And then one day I realized I missed being with the poor.
I missed serving them and learning from them.
And, yes, I missed living simply.

We all have our callings.
We all have ways that we were meant to serve.

For me, I realize in my head that at some level I am meant to serve the poor and/or the marginalized.
Here in KC and, hopefully, on short-term trips. And from there, who knows???
I don't know for sure what that even looks like right now.
That's part of what I am searching and praying for.

So, my reason for "Seven" and also my reason for doing the "Experience God" study?

It is because I want my heart to open up again.
I want my heart to break with the things that break the Heart of Jesus.
I want to weep over the things He weeps over.
I want to find out how He wants me to be His Hands and Feet.

I don't want a self-indulgent life anymore.
And, presently, that's what I have.

So I am re-exploring what it looks like and feels like to have limited food, limited clothing, etc.
I want to remember.

So I am exploring what it's like to limit media, to not be wasteful.
I want to live a disciplined life.
I want a life focused on the things that matter (people, Jesus) not on the things that don't matter.

Is it hard?
Oddly, frighteningly, yes.
I didn't expect it to be.

It's hard to let the self die and let God fully take over again.
It's heard to open up the heart. It might hurt.

But, to me, there is no life, no real life, in any other way of living.

"Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen."  --Martin Luther